I can assure the very few of you who cast your fleeting eyes on my handwritten drivel that it will not appear quite so often in future, i had just been thinking on memories, and how we see them.
I imagine you have heard of the expression “seeing through rose tinted glasses”. This is when we think back over times in our lives and we only see the happiness and the fun times, forgetting what we had to trudge through in those memories, forgetting the heart break and sadness and even just how hard things could be. I believe there should be a similar phrase such as “Blue tinted glasses” – where we see only the hardship and forget the good times that often made it all more than worthwhile. In my daily musings i thought that perhaps through a mixture of these two things maybe we remember exactly the feelings of the time, the emotions and general mood.
However, i don’t actually believe this to be the case. The human mind is fickle and easily swayed, we miss how a certain thing used to be or how a certain someone used to make us feel and straight away we remember the smiles, laughter, all the great times, strengthening the belief in our mind that we are lonely and that we do long for times we have lost. Instead of concentrating on how yeah they were great times, and not just because that old companion was there, not just because it was in your old establishment, but because it was you. Just you. Being you, an enjoying it. On the opposite side of this unfortunate coin however if we sit and think on how a change in our life has improved it for the better, and yes we may remember that same old argument, had for the hundredth time, or the real rut we were in at the time with work or school, reminding us that the correct path was followed, that this was the best way but we all know this is only for moments. As seconds later a clear image of that great day you had at your old work, or a fantastic conversation with an old friend you don’t see anymore, maybe even that extra long hug from an ex that made you feel just so safe and happy will pop into your head and you will be left with this racking feeling in the pit of your stomach with questions like “why?” and “is it too late to go back?” zooming around your head. Our own memories are used against ourselves by ourselves to pour salt into emotional wounds we thought were healed long ago.
Why is this? When we cut ourselves, our body doesn’t consider clotting the wound to heal then just forget it and let it bleed, so why does the brain allow itself to bleed dry like this? The most complex piece in the most complex life form we know of and it is counter-productive and a lot of the time there is nothing you can do except let the waves come down. We need to remember that our great memories are indeed memories of us at our greatest, not because someone or thing helped us to get there but because we are capable of it on our own.
So why mourn the past? Why fear the future? You know you had some pretty great times in the past, and you will again. You also know you had some pretty low moments in your past, but you got through them, and you sure as hell will do again, so relish the challenge. Don’t beat yourself up for the low times, remember, as complex as you are you’re only human.