Monthly Archives: February 2012

“That awkward moment…”

Obviously a great build up for any joke but in this case there is nothing amusing about the punchline. It is twenty two minutes past four in the morning as i write and i have been trying to sleep for the best part of two hours now. I lay here, making plans for tomorrow i know full well i will never do. I even began planning out my essay on the news in my head, knowing all my great ideas will be forgotten come morning time. I considered getting a sandwhich, despite not being hungry in the slightest. Or maybe i should read for a bit, or play some fifa. Alas, dear reader, i’m too tired to fully soak in what i’m reading, resulting in the going over the same paragraph five times and still having no idea who is doing what, and as for fifa, at this late hour my usually dexterous skills are failing me. Woe is me, the night is silent because all the SMART PEOPLE are tucked comfy in bed, snoring away in their bliss, having no idea what torment i suffer, and what lucky bastards they truly are. I have no doubt you are one of these ignorant many, and for that i hate you dear reader. But then, you read this far, so for that i love you. It’s a conundrum, a true catch twenty two if ever there were such a thing. I do believe this is drivel of the highest degree, but it shall be posted anyway, not because my insomnia must be known, or because my writing skills are a wonder to the world and to not share them would be a travesty. But because that’s how i roll. I realise not a whole lot has been said, but what more is there to say.

BREAKING NEWS > ACCORDING TO MY CLOCK I JUST NODDED OFF FOR AT LEAST FOURTEEN MINUTES. THINGS ARE LOOKING UP, HOWEVER I’M STILL HERE. PAWING AT MY KEYBOARD. 

So, to summarise.

  1. CAN’T SLEEP.
  2. MAKING POINTLESS PLANS, CAN’T READ, PLAY FIFA OR SLEEP. STILL.
  3. YOU’RE SLEEPING.
  4. I HATE YOU.
  5. I LOVE YOU.
  6. I SLEPT.
  7. I WOKE UP.
And here we are.
   8. SMILE!
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“SCOTLAND”

Being as my surname was originally Mccourt, the more intelligent of you can surmise that I have some Scottish heritage. I’m quite proud of this, as i’m sure are most Scots. I imagine this fiery bloodline is what leads to my temper, which i can honestly say is not overly lengthy, again this is something i am strangely proud of. I can admit it’s a major fault of mine but still, i wouldn’t be me without it.  

The reason I’ve been thinking about Scotland is all this chitter-chatter about Scotland becoming Independent from the UK, so escaping England really, let’s not beat around the bush. From the word “GO” Scotland has been desperate to show it is different to England, don’t get me wrong, some amazing things have come from Scotland, first and foremost, the best thing to ever happen to male fashion. The Kilt. Since the 16th century men in Scotland have been sporting this ingenious garment, which not only marked them as being at the height of that years hot-list, but also served to tell fellow Scotsmen their personal clan and heritage. Thus avoiding the whole:

“Hi”

“Hi, I’m Andrew, where are you from?”

….And you get the idea there, now it’s as simple as “OH, green background, navy stripes, you’re the Forbes Clan. I don’t like you” AND it’s straight to the fighting! No need for this awkward chatting. 

Anyway, back to the point. Scotland isn’t England’s biggest fan. Long trousers – kilts, small black socks – long white socks, English pound – Scottish pound, and you get the gist. They long to be different from us. 

I don’t make any pretence of being an expert on the subject, but i can’t imagine how much Scotland being seperate would affect us here in England. Would Scottish imports of deep fried mars bars and tunnock’s teacakes grind to a halt? Would the word “legal Tender”(obviously invented by the Scottish) fall out of use as you wouldn’t have to worry about using that Scottish fifty pound note at the till? Would a large, ridiculously deep trench be dug at the border between England and the Highlands so that eventually Scotland could drift off and forget all ties with Britain? Probably not, but still. 

I know the political ramifications are quite large, but we won’t get in to that. Scottish tendencies can be found everywhere, even if you don’t stop long enough to realise. “Auld Lang Syne” was written by the great man and poet Robert Burns and it’s now sung world-wide on new years eve. Sherlock Holmes is a character created by a Scott, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. And many other great people, ranging from surgeons to architects and pioneers to inventors! Including Sir Alex Ferguson, albeit he is no great leader of the times, but you can’t say he is one of the most brilliant managers of the last 2 decades. All that silverware didn’t just fall on his lap. 

Well dear reader, thank you for taking the time to look this. You’ve been great.

As always, Smile. 

 

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