Monthly Archives: March 2012

The Dark Tower.

”My first thought was, he lied in every word, That hoary cripple, with malicious eye  Askance to watch the working of his lie on mine, and mouth scarce able to afford Suppression of the glee, that purs’d and scor’d

Its edge, at one more victim gain’d thereby. What else should he be set for, with his staff?  What, save to waylay with his lies, ensnare  All travellers who might find him posted there, And ask the road? I guess’d what skull-like laugh     

Would break, what crutch ’gin write my epitaph  For pastime in the dusty thoroughfare, If at his counsel I should turn aside  Into that ominous tract which, all agree,  hides the Dark Tower. Yet acquiescently,  I did turn as he pointed: neither pride nor hope rekindling at the end descried, So much as gladness that some end might be.”

Robert Browning – “Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came”.

This is probably my favorite poem, partly because it is beautifully written, partly because it was the inspiration to write the most amazing set of books i have ever had the good fortune of reading – The Dark Tower Series by Stephen King. The poem is actually about 40 paragraphs long, i have only showed the first 3. To anyone who hasn’t read either, i seriously recommend them, these epics of the literary world are definitely worth your time. Also if you have read any Stephen King books, you will notice a huge abundance of tie ins/references to his other work. I hadn’t read any Stephen King when i first read it, but i have since read a few of his books and when i re-read it for the second and third time (i am currently reading the first one again.) I noticed a lot of them, there is even a separate website of Mr. Kings  just about the Dark Tower and it features info on many of these tie-ins! For anyone who’d like to read the entire poem, here is the link http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Childe_Roland_to_the_Dark_Tower_Came.

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Football.

Hello dear reader, carrying on from a recent entry I’ve been thinking on football. I do enjoy watching “the beautiful game” as i’m sure do a lot of people. Some of the players we can see are at immense levels of physical fitness. Probably no better example of the modern game is the recent AC Milan Vs Barcelona match in The Champions League. Some of the greatest players, all in one arena. Obviously the current recognised worlds best player, Lionel Messi played, showing his superb skill. Whilst i do think footballers on the whole are a bunch of over-dramatic, certainly over payed, arrogant, womanising, neanderthal like cretins whose job is to either coerce spherical leather into an outdoor cupboard or to stop it, admittedly with a few exceptions (yes, a rant, but more on this later).

I also think they are playing to an audience, especially in Britain who spectate only to criticise, as is the British way! Yes, we glorify Messi as the worlds best player, but then we say things like, ” Yeah, but he doesn’t match up to the old greats” Which is true of most sport! Boxing, Rugby and yes possibly football. However, is this the fault of the athlete? No! is Messi not the better of any match up in modern football? Yes he is! But we aren’t happy, though this is typically said of that old bloke in the pub who insists he could have gone pro in any number of sports, if it wasn’t for some mysterious injury.

Another thing we say is “Well Messi might dominate in the Spanish leagues, he’s too weak for English football, it’s an entirely different game!” Which, whilst technically wrong, it’s still football, is true on some levels as the English leagues play a much more physical game. Strength and size play a much bigger part here. It’s not all speed and agility or even skill. Yet the people who say this refuse to comment on the fact that Messi danced his way round Ferdinand and Vidic, two huge center backs with considerably larger frames than the Argentinian.  What more proof is needed? It is actual evidence.

Another footballer i feel sympathy for is the English striker, Emile Heskey. In my personal opinion he put on the best show for england in the last world cup venture. People disagree though, he didn’t score once in the world cup they say, he hardly ever scores they say, what kind of forward is that they say and so on and so forth. Allow me to remind you of a quote from a man noted in history for his superior intelligence “judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree and it will spend it’s whole life believing it is stupid” – Albert Einstein. Do not expect Heskey to score, we know he is not a goalscorer, instead look at what he does bring to the table. Assists. I don’t think many strikers are as selfless in their view on goalscoring. Heskey knows he can vastly improve his fellow strikers ability to finish, so he does. He is a big, big man. He can draw the defenders out, he can complete that last pass and can keep the ball up ready to give it. He was even quoted as having said “forwards are judged on their goalscoring. But i like to think i bring more to the game and i do get pleasure from assisting” What other striker would say this, with it being completely true. Heskey was a great credit to the English squad and the day he hung up his international boots was a sad day for us all, whether we all realised it or not.

Back to my rant on footballers, whilst i think some of them are despicable, such as those who cheat on their wives, i don’t think the way society treats these people is in anyway helping. They go to a club and are ushered into a V.I.P area with free drinks (like they need anything for free with their outrageous wage (- again, more on that later)), and the most attractive women with the lowest inhibitions in the club. It’s all pushed on them, and then after they have done these things, do we treat them differently? Barely. They continue to be praised and admired. Not that i think that the way in which society treats them makes what they do acceptable, because it isn’t, i just believe in exhausting all areas and being thorough. An example of all this is Ryan Giggs, a personal favorite (or he was) of mine, whom was found to have cheated on his wife. There really is no excuse for this type of behaviour.

Finally, back to my previously mentioned point of the money these sportsmen make. It really is extortionate, and i do believe that when you compare this to the wages of a solider on the front line, it shows a great mistake in the way the world works. Whilst i don’t know what, i do believe there must be something that can be done to even this out, because i am all for getting more money to the troops, and footballers are the biggest sign of the farce going on. Where someone bringing entertainment is seen as more important than someone keeping everyone in the country safe. I have no idea how to rectify this as i understand that these athletes make so much money because the industry they are in is a very large money making machine, and they after all, are the stars of it. It is just so obviously unjust, in a sense.

Anyway, that’s all for now dear reader (i won’t be so presumptuous as to put “readers” and assume there is more than one, if any!) so i hope you enjoyed it and even though it may not make much sense, just for the sake of continuity…Smile!

(P.S For football fans, especially Chelsea supporters i recommend a blog by “jwellwin” – http://chelseanewsletter.wordpress.com/)

Superman Vs The Hulk

In a more lighthearted and admittedly geeky vein than my previous posts i want to think on a question that has mystified me for some time. If an unstoppable force collided with an immovable object what would be the outcome? Or from a more amusing viewpoint (and this is where the real geek in me is shown) what if Superman, a being who can only be stopped by kryptonite flew, at full force directly in to the centre of The Hulks chest, what would happen?

Would Superman go straight through? Rip a hole in Hulk, directly through his heart?

Or would The Hulk bounce Superman of his chest like a gorilla would a troublesome fly?

At 6 ft and 1040 lbs (please don’t think i knew this off the top of my head, i checked!) you’d think The Hulk would be a sure thing. However Superman is as powerful as a locomotive, really the only being with hopes of matching Hulks massive strength, he is faster than a speeding bullet, occasionally even matching or surpassing the agility of Flash (My personal favourite Superhero) so you have to think that insane speed coupled with extreme might makes Superman more than capable of busting straight through somebody. Not that The Hulk is just anybody, no-one is on the same level of power as him, and unlike Superman, who,whilst strong, has a peak, Hulk has no peak, the angrier he gets the more powerful he becomes!

So in answer to my self-addressed question i believe it depends on just how mad Hulk is. At a minimum level of anger, sufficient enough only to make him transform from Dr. Banner into The Hulk then i think it could knock Hulk over or just back slightly, but if he was angrier than that then he would definitely demolish Superman.

This led to me wondering about the outcome of a full fight between the two behemoths of the super world. As much as i would love to say i think Hulk would win outright, because i find Superman has too large an array of weaponry at his disposal, from flight and super-strength, to freeze breath and heat vision, which makes him a bit too awesome to find quite as enjoyable as other super heroes. I think it would be a close call, Superman would stand a great chance at first being faster than Hulk as he could use heat vision from afar whilst dodging Hulk or the things he may throw. However Hulk is not the sharpest knife in the drawer and has such has little regard for others life, be they enemy or friend. So eventually he would throw a car containing people or endanger humans in someway meaning Superman would have to concentrate on saving them and not solely defeating Hulk. As he cares too much for the lives of others, including his enemies which is his greatest weakness (other than kryptonite, obviously, but i doubt Hulk has any of this on his person), he does not want to kill. Adversaries have been using this against him for a long, long time.

Once this happened Hulk might get in close enough to do some serious damage as i imagine he would be pretty pissed off at this point and therefore extremely powerful, this would be his one chance to finish off Superman otherwise i am pretty certain he would lose.

Yes, this as been kinda random, but now you know 🙂

Dear Brazil…

This post begins as more of a thank you than anything, to the great people of Brazil. For reasons I do not know, the majority of my readers are in Brazil. However, thank you for taking your time to read my pompous drivel, for all I know you accidentally get on my blog and leave as soon as you arrive, but i’m going to choose to believe that’s not the case! ( I know the question you are all asking and second place is tied between the United Kingdom and America, so thank you also to my county men and the Americans who frequent this site).

On with the show!

I recently started watching the program “Heroes” and am thoroughly addicted. It’s a brilliantly thought out show and I have to give it a first class recommendation to everyone, not just the superhero geeks like myself – Watch It! The story is intricate and intelligent, the filming and editing is done to a very high level and you will most likely want to burn through the first season in 3 days like I did.

Most of the abilities are very old school and cliche, super speed, mind reading and flight to name a few, but this is to be expected in a show featuring super human characters.

It made me ask myself, as I imagine all young children do at some point ( or was that just me? ) which power i would want the most which led to a heated discussion between my housemates. The obvious “I’d be Superman” was thrown out pretty early on, and despite the fact that being able to do anything as long as you avoid one luminous green rock is appealing, I always found Superman rather dull. He can do ANYTHING, this doesn’t make for a very exciting premise. I think i’d rather be the best at one thing, like The Hulk – “HULK STRONGEST THERE IS” or The flash, a man no-one can catch. It’s all very well and good being a jack-of-all-trades like Clark Kent, but Flash can outrun him, Hulk can break him and a green pebble can kill him.

Another point made was that money is the greatest superpower of all. Fair point. Look at Batman and Iron Man. ( you have just realised, how huge a geek i really am when it comes to this stuff – I blame my older brother, he got me hooked. ) This is a fair point, iron man can make his suit do anything and has one for every occasion, whereas as batman has a belt with so many compartments it’s a wonder his bat-trousers stay up.

However, this is all getting away from what i really want to talk about:

– Muamba.  For those of you living completely sheltered from all forms of media, Footballer Fabrice Muamba suffered from cardiac arrest during the quarter finals game between his side, Bolton and Tottenham 10 days ago. Whilst the world of football put aside petty rivalry’s and joined together in support of the midfielder, and the world in general wished him a swift recovery, one 21 year old student at Swansea University took it upon himself to tell his side.  Spurting out racist and plain evil comments on twitter, this scum of the earth thought his virtual hate crime would be left alone. However, after numerous complaints, to many different police stations throughout the country he was arrested and has since been sentenced to 56 days in prison. Good. Some people think it’s a “tad harsh” but isn’t publishing hate filled, derogatory terms about someone, based on the colour of their skin during a time where they are fighting hard for there life just a “tad harsh”. Yes, that was most definitely the understatement of the century.  I think Gary Lineker summed it up well in his tweet “Let it be a warning to all you immature souls. #thinkbeforeyoutweet”, although personally I would have replaced “immature souls” with something a bit darker and featuring many more adjectives ( none of them good ).

Let’s all wish Fabrice a swift recovery, and finish on something lighter. As the match was abandoned for obvious reasons, the two teams met again recently, ending in a 3:1 victory for Tottenham. Before the match they held a one minute applause for the fallen comrade, letting him know he was in everyone’s thoughts and we are all behind him. It’s little moments like that, which bring me the slightest amount of faith in our world and it’s inhabitants.

Thank you and smile!

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THIS IS THE RETURN OF THE SPACE COWBOY…

…as my family call me.

Yes, Dear reader, the rumors are true. I am back, after an overly brief absence due to manic deadline-related times.

(Before i continue, you may notice the lack of an “S” on reader, this is because I am not conceited enough to believe that more than one person reads this BLOGSTROCITY ( BLOG + MONSTROSITY ) but if you do exist dear reader, and i really mean dear, thank you. We are now best friends and you invited for tea whenever you choose. On with the show)

Much has happened during this reprisal. The unthinkable. I turned 20. I was warned this would happen from day 1, but i always shrugged it off as one would when told to be good or the boogeyman will come. Alas, unlike the boogeyman, this was true. No more will people say of me, “what’s Tom up to these days? oh he’s at uni, he’s not sure what to do with his life yet, he’s only a TEENAGER.”

….

….

…. TEENAGER. No the above line, said with such fondness, reminiscent of someone speaking of an old friend, will never be (truthfully) spoken again. Instead it will be replaced with “Tom? oh….he’s at uni, he’s ..erm…not sure what he wants to do with his life and HE’S IN HIS F#@£%$! TWENTIES” The old, cheery tone too has left with my teenage years, to be replaced with one of embarrassment, of resentment and of disgust. This will no doubt lead to me being called “Gramps”, my family and friends disowning me because i’m too inconvenient to be seen with. As my life unravels i will no doubt console myself with alcohol, as so many in that position do. When the rubble that my life will become starts to circle the drain, and i look for that hand to hold through the hardest of times, i will find nothing. No warm comforting hand. If i can still afford it at this, my all time low, the only thing i will find will be the cold, hard, unloving glass of that last drink, and for that i will be grateful, as my pain is numbed and i shall leave this harsh, unforgiving world, with the smallest of smiles on my lips…

This is all just estimations and guesses of course, admittedly very, very dark ones. As you and i move on, i shall leave you with this last piece of advice.

Do Everything In Your Power To Stay Nineteen Forever.

My other big news is much more enjoyable but much smaller. I have received the greatest gift in the world. Something every gentleman should own, a Pocket Watch. Thus i can tell time and…

I am also now beginning my fierce campaign to bring the pocket watch back to the height of fashion.

Thank you, and Smile!

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