THIS IS THE RETURN OF THE SPACE COWBOY…

…as my family call me.

Yes, Dear reader, the rumors are true. I am back, after an overly brief absence due to manic deadline-related times.

(Before i continue, you may notice the lack of an “S” on reader, this is because I am not conceited enough to believe that more than one person reads this BLOGSTROCITY ( BLOG + MONSTROSITY ) but if you do exist dear reader, and i really mean dear, thank you. We are now best friends and you invited for tea whenever you choose. On with the show)

Much has happened during this reprisal. The unthinkable. I turned 20. I was warned this would happen from day 1, but i always shrugged it off as one would when told to be good or the boogeyman will come. Alas, unlike the boogeyman, this was true. No more will people say of me, “what’s Tom up to these days? oh he’s at uni, he’s not sure what to do with his life yet, he’s only a TEENAGER.”

….

….

…. TEENAGER. No the above line, said with such fondness, reminiscent of someone speaking of an old friend, will never be (truthfully) spoken again. Instead it will be replaced with “Tom? oh….he’s at uni, he’s ..erm…not sure what he wants to do with his life and HE’S IN HIS F#@£%$! TWENTIES” The old, cheery tone too has left with my teenage years, to be replaced with one of embarrassment, of resentment and of disgust. This will no doubt lead to me being called “Gramps”, my family and friends disowning me because i’m too inconvenient to be seen with. As my life unravels i will no doubt console myself with alcohol, as so many in that position do. When the rubble that my life will become starts to circle the drain, and i look for that hand to hold through the hardest of times, i will find nothing. No warm comforting hand. If i can still afford it at this, my all time low, the only thing i will find will be the cold, hard, unloving glass of that last drink, and for that i will be grateful, as my pain is numbed and i shall leave this harsh, unforgiving world, with the smallest of smiles on my lips…

This is all just estimations and guesses of course, admittedly very, very dark ones. As you and i move on, i shall leave you with this last piece of advice.

Do Everything In Your Power To Stay Nineteen Forever.

My other big news is much more enjoyable but much smaller. I have received the greatest gift in the world. Something every gentleman should own, a Pocket Watch. Thus i can tell time and…

I am also now beginning my fierce campaign to bring the pocket watch back to the height of fashion.

Thank you, and Smile!

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